Most of you know that I am pregnant. And because of that I wanted to put this on my blog for everyone (mostly so I dont have to say it a million times).
I went in for my first ultrasound yesterday and the baby measured 9 weeks. The baby looked great except for the fact that there was no heartbeat and no bloodflow in the umbilical cord. The doctor said that the heart had to have just stoped beating for me to measure as big as I did and that after a baby passes the tissues swell a bit (accounts for the extra week in size). So, tomorrow (hopefully) I will go in for a DNC.
The biggest thing is that I dont want any of you to feel sad for me. God has been so good to me to bless me with a beautiful daughter. I feel certain that He will bless me again. Also, I have no clue what He is keeping me or my unborn from. I would hate to have to watch my child suffer a lifetime of a disability. I am thankful that I lost the baby so early on and dont have to go through this after an entire pregnancy. On top of all of that, when I do try to have a baby again I will be tenured and have my masters - SHEW! So no more classes and I can take a year off with my baby! We will also be settled in our new house and I dont have to worry about the dust and paint fumes! So I can totally see God at work and am grateful that he is allowing me to go through this now -instead of later!
One little way that God was preparing me for this: I called about a mothers day out program for Kaylen last week and as the lady was telling me about the program she had to call me back because her doctor's office calling and she needed to schedule a DNC because she had just miscarried. (Why she told me all of that - I dont know!) But then she called me back and she had such a peace about the whole thing and it was so encouraging to hear her speak. I know that God put her in my life last week to prepare me for this week. I am very blessed to be so loved and cared for.
I also have amazing friends and family - all of you. Thank you for being such a wonderful support system for me! I am truly thankful for each and every one of you. If you think about it, please say a prayer for me tomorrow as I go in for my DNC - I am a little scared because I have no idea what it will be like. I dont think it will be bad... it is just the unknown. Anyway, I love you all and hope that you have a wonderful weekend!